The Tragic Kindom

Greetings loved ones,

So we went on vacation week before last to Walt Disney World. Big mistake. Why is it that something you look forward to so much and is so crazy expensive can be turned upside down by something as small as a germ. We bought tickets on Southwest out of Nashville (three hours away) because they were half the price of ones out of Memphis. Memphis is a hub for Delta/Northwest so no Southwest here. Dave HATES this, it really drives him to distraction as it does most Memphians. He says "It's how they gig 'ya!" Anywho, so we drive the 3 hours to Nashville and get a flight to Tampa, not Orlando because latter in the week we have a business conference for the shop in Marco Island and Tampa is just about halfway between the two places. We go to Animal Kingdom on Sunday and around 3 or 4 in the afternoon Big Dave says he doesn't feel good and is going to sit in the van with David. The park closes at 5 pm so I don't think much about it and we go back to the hotel. But later that night when we went to dinner Dave opted out and spent his evening driving and riding the porcelain bus. Poor baby. So he misses the Magic Kingdom the next day. It was a long, long day. 10:30 am til 10:30 pm. That's a long day for a bunch of couch potatoes like us. The lines were crazy long and we missed our daddy. But it was still a good day. The weather was beautiful and not rainy like the week before. So Tuesday is our last day and we decided to go to Epcot. Dave was feeling much better and no one else seemed to have caught it so we assumed it was food poisoning. You know what happens when you ass/u/me anything.(I recently showed that to Little David and he thought is was hilarious) We enter Epcot and take the pictures with the big silver ball and all that. We ride some rides and around 3pm we head over to the world showcase, Mexican pavilion to eat a late lunch at San Angel our favorite restaurant on the property. It's so fun. It's inside a huge Mayan Temple and it's like you are eating in old Mexico. Did I mention it's my FAVORITE place to eat in Epcot? We order our food and I eat the appetizers and by the time our food comes I just know I shouldn't eat it. Something said "DON'T EAT YOUR FOOD!" Did I listen? NO.
Within minutes of finishing most of my delicious meal I felt really sick. Stupid. I tried to go to the restroom, but no, nothing -just nausea. I was done. Just that quick. I told Dave I was going to the van. I started towards the parking lot but didn't get very far when it hit me in earnest. I made it to a restroom in time for the diarrhea to begin. As I sat there I got sicker and sicker and then the cold sweats started. I began to pray,"Dear Lord, please just let me get my pants up before I puke." I did just that and no more. There I was heaving my guts up in the middle of Epcot. I remember thinking, "oh, those poor women on either side of me can here me in here, they must be totally grossed out." Then I felt the diarrhea again and just had time to wipe off the seat. If anyone knows what a germaphob I am, you know how awful this was for me. So much so, that I wouldn't leave the bathroom until the cleaning lady had cleaned out my stall. OCD to the max! I rethought the whole going to the car thing as there are no facilities in the parking lot. I remembered passing a first aid station on the way to the restaurant (ironic huh?) So I made my way to the first aid station and on the way past my friend whose family went with us. I could barely walk and talk but I said "Kelli! Where are you going?" She said she was going to the car, that she didn't feel good either." I told her to follow me to the first aid station and she did. We walked in like we had been shot. Kelli spoke for us and told the two women behind the counter that we had been sick and just needed to sit down for a while. They were VERY rude to us. "Why don't you go back to your resort ladies?" I can't tell you how sick I was, I haven't been that sick since I was 21 and had the flu. But I hissed back at them "I CAN'T GET TO MY CAR!" They said, "Well you can't sit out here, you'll have to go to the back and lay down. We have to many patrons that come and go in the waiting room." My thoughts were 1.Laying down is just what I NEED to do and 2.am I NOT a patron. I paid my $125 dollars to walk in the gates and THIS is how I'm treated? And THEN she said, "You can't stay too long, we're very busy today." So help me, we were the only ones there. Epcot stands for Experimental prototype community of tomorrow. I think it stands for Epcot's people cannot offer tenderness. So we laid in there for some time and let me just say it was a good thing I didn't go to the van as I was constantly back and forth to the bathroom. Kelli just fell asleep but I was in agony. Finally, Kent (Kelli's husband) called and she told him where we were and I said "Please came with Dave and give me a blessing!" Shortly thereafter the husbands showed up and gave us both a blessing. What are the odds of having two priesthood holders there? I just thank God they were. So, they gave us a paper blanket and rudely sent us on our way in two wheelchairs. You know, it takes a lot to embarrass me but being wheeled out of Epcot under a paper blanket is probably the top of my list. Plus, every sound every bump, every smell made me nauseous. The guys decided to let Kelli drive us home as she was the least sick. Dave helped me in their truck and buckled me in. Mistake #1. Kelli drove while I moaned. We barely got past the Welcome to Epcot sign when I felt it coming. I yelled "Kelli, pull over!" But it was too late. Thank God for the paper blanket, which caught most of it but not all. Because I was buckled in it got all over the seat belt. Ewwwwww. Fortunately, I took most of the hit. Unfortunately, because I vomited so violently, I couldn't stop the other end. So there I was vomit on my shirt and jacket and my pants soiled too. Would you believe Kelli had a whole basket of clean beach towels in the bed of her truck. I took off my clothes right there on the side of the interstate. I was just in my tennis shoes and underwear and I didn't care. Kelli handed me a towel and I wrapped up. You know those few minutes right after you are sick that you feel completely fine? Well, I used those minutes to use the last 5 Handi-Wipes in my purse to clean up Kelli's truck. Mostly I just cleaned the seat belt. I begged Kellie to let me ride in the bed of her truck (she has a camper top) but she was mortified and refused to let me. I said "Kelli, I stink and I don't want to mess up your truck any more than I already have." She teared up and said we would just use more towels and roll down the windows. What a good friend. We just left all the illness and cleaning materials on the side of the road. I felt bad about it but knew that because it was still on Disney property some poor slob would have to clean it up.
We made it back to the hotel without anymore excitement. Big Dave took care of everything that night, including me. The rest of the week went better but I never felt up to snuff. As I related this story to my sister-in-law, her husband (Dave's brother Clark)commented that it sounded more like the Tragic Kingdom to him. I howled when I heard this as Clark is a stroke survivor and surprises us all with his wit sometimes. So that was our trip to Hell. I'm really sorry it was so graphic but that's life and this is a journal for me as well as a way to stay in touch. Here's hoping your vacations fair way better than ours did. Regretfully, Tracey