Sacred Duties

Greetings Dearests,

This has been a long but gratifying week. Tuesday while I was preparing for an estimated 125 people to come to our house for a band booster meeting and fundraiser kickoff I received a phone call. "Sister Steward is it true that Sister Denton died last night and the funeral is Friday?" "I don't think so, no one has called me but let me find out and get back to you." I called Brother Denton (my first mistake, I should have called the bishop) and asked how Sister Denton was. "She passed away last night." "I'm so sorry Brother Denton. Please forgive me for calling so early. Should I talk to one of your daughters?" "They aren't here yet, I called the Bishop last night I guess he hasn't had a chance to call you yet." "I guess not. I love you brother Denton. Is there anything I can do for you this morning?" "No, we're all fine. I'll have Denise call you when she gets here." "Allright, please tell your children how sorry I am. Good-bye." You can imagine how badly I felt calling that poor man at 8:30 am after the long night he had been through. I was not pleased with the Bishop. Although it is extremly hard to been mad at him as he is perhaps the kindest and most humble man I've ever known. I called him and asked "Bishop is there anything you need to tell me?" "Yes Sister Steward, Sister Denton passed away last night and the funeral will probably be Friday." You all would be so proud of me, I didn't even razz him about not calling me. I just asked him the usual questions. Who do you want to feed? Where is the visitation and funeral? What else can I do? Do they have her burial clothing? He didn't have any specifics yet but said he would call me later. I stressed how important it was for him to move quickly as it is necessary to get the food planned (for the family) and arrange daycare for the grandkids for the funeral. He promised he would call me asap. So all day I'm cleaning and talking on the phone. I've never been gladder to see Charlotte in my life. She made two crockpots of chili for me (did I mention that the band booster mtg was also a chili-hot dog dinner?) set up all the tables outside and ran to the Hondahaven to get ice for me. It was a crazy day. I was sooo glad when it was over. I think we did some good networking however. The rest of the week was spent working on the funeral preparations. I didn't know Sister Denton that well. I liked her but didn't have a history with her. It was probably for the best as I was able to be a shadow. To comfort without needing comfort. I asked Brother Denton several times if I should come over but he kept in contact with my counselor (they do have a history) and he would always say "It's pretty hectic over here." I totally understood. I am a stranger. I didn't mind one bit. Death is a strange business, everyone reacts differently. I know men pretty well, emotions are not their favorite things to deal with, especially older men of a certain generation.
The Denton's have 6 childern and are very close and took very tender care of their father. Thursday morning I met the 3 daugters and 3 daughters-in-laws to help dress their mother. I believe you go through things to prepare you for other things. Fifteen years ago I helped dress my mother-in-law along with my two dear sister-in-laws, Vicki and Gwen. It helped me so much on Thursday. When I walked in those poor girls were lost. I can not tell you of the sweet and tender feeling that permeated my heart and that room. I tried to be gentle and carring with their mother. We all worked together and some tears were shed but on the whole everyone of the girls were very brave. The visitation was that night and I asked the R.S. President from the neighboring ward to supply food at the funeral home (many women just wanted to do something). This woman was loved by everyone. I saw people cry that Ive never seen cry.
Behind the scenes, my sweet young compassionate service leader managed to arrange all the food for the family's luncheon. I gave her a task with a stipulation. I asked her to only ask southern women to cook the vegetables. I said "I want people who cook with bacon grease to make the veggies." All of you not from the South please don't be offended. It's not a regional thing as much as a consideration thing. If it were a Hispanic family I would insist on only Hispanic cooks. Food at funerals should be comfort food, not healthy. This is an old southern family. My girl came through. The food was good and on time. Remember how I didn't just love the women in this ward? I can honestly say I no longer feel that way. These women pulled together and helped when needed (even the young ones). I love that about them. I find myself thinking about them individually in the middle of the night. What a sap I'm turning into. But seriously I feel things I can't even write in words. I get the whole charity being the pure love of Christ feeling now. I am actually grateful for this calling. Go figure. The funeral was beautiful and made me want to live a better life. Thank you Sister Denton.
All my love,
Tracey:)